lindsy griffis.: the gift of Wednesdays

7:30PM and we are ready to collapse onto the couch and succumb to anything mindless. I have just spent the past twelve hours with two littles I love, but who run and scream and play and exert more energy than I ever remember having. He has just spent the past 10 hours bringing home the bacon, only to be tackled by a daddy-struck one-year-old the minute he steps into the house.

But now is nuh-nite time, and the littles are hushed in their rooms. At least for this moment.

We want to watch the latest episode of Parks and Rec or Grimm, but that will wait. Tonight, even the dishes wait. It is Wednesday, our designated night to push aside our exhaustion. Where he speaks my love language, quality time.

He rubs my feet and asks, listening, "how are you?"

I knew having children would change the dynamics of our relationship. Twenty months into parenthood, it is still difficult to remember what life looked like pre-kids. At some point we recognized that our busyness and exhaustion were costing us. No longer could our dinner conversations focus fully on one another. No longer did any time together have the same potential for quality conversation. We felt disconnected. Our marriage needed more in a season where I felt I had less to offer.

We have a permanent at-home date on Wednesday nights. To put us first. To connect. To encourage. To pray. To rub feet. To make plans. To dream. To pursue oneness. To build into our marriage. To put our titles of Mommy and Daddy on the back-burner to remember that we are also Husband and Wife.

Just like love, I think that marriage is an action. It's proactive. It's intentional. It's selfless. If it isn't these things, it easily becomes cohabiting instead. We've been there, and can easily go back there from time to time.

Our calendar is often chock full, as it often is with two people who love to serve and struggle with saying, "no". (We're getting better.) But this is one thing we can do. We can put a date on the calendar. Scheduled connect time. I can't tell you how important these Wednesday nights have been to our marriage. It keeps it alive. And keeps us feeling loved.

This gift of Wednesday nights. I'm thankful.