Scratch that... it has been one of those nights AND days. My sweet boy who used to get up for a 3am feeding has now decided that 1am is a better time. And last night decided that 1am, 3:30am, and 6am were good times. I haven't woken up more than twice in a night since he was about 2 months old!
Who knows why he has been waking up. There are tons of theories and more than enough people saying what you should and should not do as a mama. I should start feeding him rice cereal to fill his belly. I should not nurse him to sleep. I should start sleep training and letting him cry it out. I should not let him become dependent on the paci {too late}. They always have something to say. You know, them. But in all the millions of sleep and baby books I've read, I came across one piece of advice that I have clung to. {Sorry - I can't remember where I read it to reference... if I remember I will post.} My truth to live by: You don't need to fix what isn't broken. And it isn't broken unless I say it's broken. So - even though they all say I shouldn't let him have his paci or I shouldn't nurse him to sleep, if I don't see it as a problem - it isn't. So, my son still sleeps with a paci and I will get up every once in awhile to pop it back in. I still nurse my son to sleep at night... and on days like today when he just needs some extra love. I don't care about the criticism. It doesn't bother me. And all I know is that he needs me.
Proverbs 31:15
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household...
So, today I find myself using the eye drops for my dry, red, eyes and apologizing to my sweet boy for being so out of touch. These out-of-sync days and nights are going to happen. I feel that I am on the road to creating some bad habits that need to be nipped in the bud. Habits like...
- Staying up late doing
pointlessvery important things {like facebook... reading blogs... catching up on my pile of magazines that I haven't had time to touch}. - Dragging my feet in the morning. Waking up only when Jude wakes up and not making the time to read my Bible, exercise, or have alone time.
- Putting too many things on my "to-do" list. And then feeling guilty and out of it when I try to multi-task instead of focusing on my son. Not sticking to a plan.
- Staying in my pajamas and not showering in
3a couple days. Makes it easy to stay lazy.
I can think of a bazillion other bad habits, but for my self-esteem, let's just stop at four. The first step to change is acknowledging you have a problem, right? These are a few things that I am recognizing as problems in my life. It is directly effecting my energy, my motivation, and my time. So - baby steps.
This week my goal is to go to bed on time. On time being 10pm or earlier. And my other goal? Wake up at 7am to read my Bible. Jude doesn't usually wake up until 7:30, so this should give me 30 minutes of alone time. Eventually I'd like to push that time back, but while I am still getting up at night with him, I need to make sure I am not sleep deprived.
I'll report back in a week and let you know how I did.
What are some of your bad habits you would like to see change in?
And what do you do to make sure you stay refreshed, energized, and ready to tackle the day?
I like your attitude! People always mean well...but sometimes!! I remember feeling like if I heard one more piece of unwanted advice I was going to loose it...not the best reaction, I know. James (My 1st)didn't sleep 8 hours straight until about 9mo. old. He didn't sleep 12 hours straight until about 2 years old!! Each kid is certainly different. Great goals for yourself too! :) I'd like to change staying up too late as well. I gotta sleep when the baby is sleeping...haha. We'll see how that goes.
ReplyDeleteAMEN! There is so much pressure on Moms these days to do things according to certain "rules." Sometimes I feel like you just can't win. Just do what feels right for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck getting to bed by 10. I'm actually impressed that you can even stay up that late, lol! I'm in bed and ASLEEP by 9...and I'll go even earlier if my husband is out for the night.
I consider you a fairly normal, well adjusted human being:-)...and I nursed you at night before bed (only) for 14 months, until you looked at me one night and said, "juice?". (So you weened me?) I also gave you a paci (bup) for naps and bedtime (only...and emergencies) and you were great at dropping it in your bed to leave it when you got up (never ran around with it). So neither of those things seemed to ruin your life. I think you could also point to things and say that you know that I was learning or practicing on you in those areas since you were my first. That's ok...you survived those, too.
ReplyDeleteWhile fixing all of those "bad habits" is definitely a worthwhile goal, always give yourself have an off day. Give yourself permission to sleep in if you need to or to stray from your plan once in awhile. You'll know when those days come. (Is today one?) Jude needs you to have enough sleep, too. That's ok. And in those moments you squeeze in to spend with God, ask Him to multiply that time and meet you, fill you, and empower you to do what's next. I know He loves the kind of mom you are, and understands the challenges that come with it. I know that He is smiling on you and is glad that He's entrusted you with such a great treasure. He chose YOU to be Jude's mother...and no one knows Jude's needs better than you do. Jude is so blessed to have you for a mom.
Love you, honey.
Moms are very judgmental people! I just always ignore everybody else and tell myself I need to do what's best for my baby, myself, and my family. Jude is still so so young! Who cares if he's nursed to sleep, or loves his paci. Those seem like pretty normal things to me :) you are a great mama..do what works for you guys!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Until *you* feel it's a problem, there's no need to try anything new. It also bugs me when there's something that I really want to work on, and everyone tells me "it's not big deal" (like napping on time, feeding them before they cry etc...) Babies go through lots of crazy phases. Once you think "I've arrived" and everything is going well, something changes. And I think it might be like this for many, many years. :)
ReplyDeleteAs believers in Jesus Christ, one of the great advantages in parenting that we have is the Holy Spirit. Trust the Holy Spirit to give you the moment by moment wisdom and insight to be the right parent for Jude. God picked you and Jordan to parent Jude for Him....He will give you wisdom even for the 'small stuff'. How wonderful that we can face each day with the confidence that God walks through the day with us!
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying reading about your experience . . . I hope your devotional and exercising time goes well! I need that too for my own emotional health and balance, so I hope that if/when I have kids I'm able to stick with those things (and also not be too hard on myself when I need to just rest).
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