My mission.

I always knew that being a mama was a big job.  A LOT of responsibility.  Not always fun.  But always worth it.  I never anticipated how I would feel as a mama though.  I knew I would love my child, but this baby totally has my heart.  And ever since Jude has been born it has been SO impressed on me the importance of my role as his mama.

Not only is it my responsibility to essentially keep him alive... ya know... feed him, bathe him, change him, clothe him.  I have to teach him right from wrong... good from evil... how to behave and be polite.  I have to demonstrate love and respect.  I want to show him what a good marriage is and how a woman should be toward her husband {and Jordan will show him how to treat a lady!}.  It will be my job, more than any other, to show him Jesus Christ.  And it is just so impressed on me the weight of this job.  In a good way... I love it.  I have never felt so important than to have this role as Jude's mother.  I find myself on my knees constantly... praying for wisdom and grace. 

But being Christ to your own son... what does that look like?  It is always easy to show God's love to people outside your home.  At work, we talk about being the hands and feet of Christ to the people who come to the food pantry or who call for financial assistance because they are low-income.  But to Jude it is {and will continue to be as he grows up} being patient, kind, slow to anger, not selfish... today it looked like changing his diaper 3 times in a matter of 3 minutes... putting my "to-do" list aside to enjoy quality time playing on the floor... reading him books to prepare for nap time... wiping up his face after spitting up {and then changing my shirt because of course it missed the burp-cloth}... changing his sheets at 1am because he wet through... and again at 4am because nobody can sleep well in a nasty diaper... snuggling him after our morning feeding and chatting about our dreams... whispering sweet prayers for his future as he falls asleep in my arms at night... and praying under my breath for patience and strength on those nights we just don't get enough sleep.

I have been somewhat surprised to discover that my job as a mama is the hardest I have worked at a job ever.  Maybe because it is life and there is no "away from the office".  Maybe it is because my heart is so invested.  Because this is what God has meant for me to do in this season. 

But I love it.  I strive to give it my all.  In only 4 short months it is so amazingly clear to me how quickly these years will go by.  I don't want to miss any of it.

A lot of these thoughts have been spurred on by an article I read on John Pipers blog called Motherhood as a Mission Field.

It says,

Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?

Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.