June 3, 2010

Textbook Miscarriage.

Apparently I had a "textbook" miscarriage.  I have been hearing this a lot from this doctor.  I had "textbook" BBT charts ("beautiful" actually)... but charts that for 10 months showed no pregnancy.  I met with him for my post-miscarriage appointment and today was told I have a "textbook" miscarriage.  I told him all that has happened this week... no more bleeding, passing of everything, etc... and find out that the results from my Tuesday blood work showed my hCG at 14.  That is a drop of over 600 in a week.  This level wouldn't even show up on a pregnancy test anymore.  Chances are, by the weekend it will most definitely be back to zero.  This is a good thing... hopefully my body will be "texbook" in getting back on track.

One of the main things that has been keeping me moving forward is the desire to not give up and keep trying.  I asked my doctor today when we can start trying and he said after a couple of cycles.  His reasoning is that after miscarriage the lining of your uterus is possibly not as strong as they would like.  On the other hand, he said if we happened to get pregnant many people have successful pregnancies right after miscarriage and odds are it would be fine.  There is just a slightly higher chance of another miscarriage.  I don't know what to do.  I do NOT want to have another miscarriage, and therefore put us back again.  On the other hand, I don't want to waste any time either!  I know I should probably listen to my doctor, but I have heard of many women who have gotten pregnant right after miscarriages that went on to have successful pregnancies... my hopes are that this is my story.  I may do a happy compromise and wait for AF to come and then start trying again.  I hate to lose a month, but I am scared of miscarrying again.  The good news is, if I am not back to normal by August, he said he would like to see me again and we can go on clomid again.  If I am not pregnant by August, this is my plan. 

Another crazy thing... it almost seems like our office has a curse on it.  A co-worker of mine was pregnant with twins due in December, and literally days after I miscarried, she also lost her babies.  It is horrible.  She was 12 weeks along and thinking she was in the clear.  Just another example of how we have absolutely no control.  It has been good to talk with her, though, and share our experiences as we go through this tragedy together.  I feel for her and her husband... especially being as far along as she was.  Actually - come to think of it, her doctor told her to wait one cycle before trying again... it seems to me that different doctors just have differing opinions without any concrete reason WHY to wait.  So... I think I'll wait for one cycle and then try again.  This would give us an April baby (hopefully)... so - as you pray, pray that next Spring we would have a little bundle of joy in our arms.

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