approaching as a student

I feel like every other post I write begins with me talking about my sick kids.  Yet, here we are.

We missed church once again this week due to Jude waking up with a red, gunky, swollen eye.  There was no questioning that the very-contagious-and-gross-looking pink eye had gotten him and we promptly took him to urgent care to get treated.

I then proceeded to go to the grocery store to purchase loads of hand sanitizer and Lysol to hopefully prevent anyone else (especially the littlest one) from succumbing to the pink, gooey, eye.

So, I had church at home.  I spent the morning in Genesis reading about the trials Jacob and Laban.  Only a week in, but I am really enjoying this Bible in six months plan.

I think I have a different perspective this time that is making all the difference.

That, and an amazing accountability partner (hey hubby).

This time, I'm reading through the Bible quickly, without much time to chew on the details.  This isn't honestly my favorite way to read, which is why I feel it is necessary (because there is much I haven't read in a very long time).  Also, this is why I chose to make the commitment short and breeze through it in 6 months.  I'd love to get back to the slow reading sooner than later.  But, I have so often read the Bible with a consumer mentality.  What can I get out of this?  How does this apply to me?  What is God trying to tell me through this?

Which is good.

But.

In this quicker-than-I'd-like pace, I'm seeking to approach scripture with the purpose of knowing God and increasing my knowledge in a way I haven't before.  Who is he across all time?  What is the big picture and how does it point toward Christ?  What does this reveal about God's character?

The words aren't different, but for me it's a mental shift.  And a bit of a heart-shift as I ask God to reveal HIM to me more than before.  I'm approaching more as a student.  Less of someone looking for some inspiration.  I do think that both have their seasons.

Because, here's the thing.  I really do think that it all starts with knowing God in a big way.  I have spent so much time getting to know Jesus in the New Testament without understanding in full how the stories of the Old Testament pointed toward Him all along.  I was missing out on a ton of power and truth by approaching it in that way.

I'm excited to know more about that power.  That power that now lives in me.  That power that I pray will become the overflow of my life.

I'm excited, friends!  What season of studying are you in right now?  

writing when writing is hard

Too many nights are like this.

Me.  With a topic I picked out a couple of weeks ago to write about (because I'm attempting to be super-organized like that).  Staring at a blank screen with ZERO inspiration to spit it out in words.

Because the inspiration hit while I was doing the dishes or maybe last night while I was showering.  Inspiration is never convenient.  At least not for me.

And right now, the scene is this.  Sick toddler with pink eye.  Do you feel like all I write about are my sick kids??  Because I do.  My Christmas tree is still up.  Laundry un-folded in the hamper.  It's 10:30pm and my New Years resolution was to be in bed by 10.  

And I stare at this blank screen thinking I just want to share life!!

Then I think, share what?  Share that my kids are sick and my Christmas tree is up and my house is never ever put-together?  Do people want to read my endless doting on my kids?  My struggles with prioritizing the things I've prioritized as important in life?  My sometimes directionless passion to spur women on in the monotony of stay-at-home-motherhood?  My weak attempts at simplifying life and living with less?

Doubt.

I'll admit it.  As much as I love writing, I sometimes doubt I have anything of value to say.  And so, on certain nights, I stick to my topic.  Force out some semi-inspired words that didn't flow as well as I like.  And kind of shrug my shoulders as I hit publish.

And somehow God shows me that my efforts are not in vain.  People are reading.  People are relating and being encouraged even when I feel weak in this calling.  

Your comments, even a simple "Amen!" or "Been there sister!" are so so so encouraging to me.  It is easy for this to feel like a one-sided conversation.  But with each post I invite you to share life with me as well.  

There is power in our stories.  Even in the monotony, where we see glimpses of grace and small moments of praise.  It's there.  In the word of our testimony, the living out of our every days, there is power.  

This is me being bold where I'm at right now.  This is me not doubting that my calling, specific to me, is important.  

Even as small as it may seem.

As small as a tiny little blog on the internet where I try to share life and speak truth.

As small as wiping messy peas of your 6 month olds face and giving thanks.

As small as writing that letter of encouragement that seems like nothing but really is everything.

Even when it isn't easy.  Even when it is uncomfortable or takes extra effort or boldness.  

This is my encouragement to you (and to me) to not doubt.  Grab your unique calling by the shoulders and be bold about it.  I'm stepping out in faith with you.

good to be a brother

To think that I was afraid now makes me laugh.

That a little over six months ago I was so unsure and fearful of how another child would change our family.  Really, it is near hilarious.

There is a reason the Lord tells us not to fear.  

Six months into this mom-of-two gig, and I am grateful that God knows what is best for our family far better than I do.  Adding to our family has been oh so good.  I can't think of a previous six months that has brought me more joy.

I know it is good when Jude wakes up and asks about Isaac (Eye-see) first thing in the morning.

I know it is good when Isaac is more smothered by hugs and kisses than anyone in our family, since he is doted on by all three of us.

I know it is good when a little Mr.Mom constantly replaces pacis, wipes Isaac's face with a burp cloth, and grabs a spoonful of baby food and (almost) feeds his little brother dinner.

I know it is good when I see the two of them laugh hysterically at one another for reasons only a brother could understand.

I know it is good when they snuggle on the floor together and I see the absolute glee in Isaac's face as Jude (gently) wrestles him and gives him paci kisses.

I know it is good when I already see opportunity to teach Jude about sharing, gentleness, apologizing, and forgiveness.

I know it is good when life before kids is fading from memory and I'm at peace with that.

I could not have planned this life. 

Six months in, I see so much goodness.  So much faithfulness.  Loads and loads of grace.  And a sweet little boy only God knew we needed.

Can I just say that I must be one blessed lady to have the opportunity to raise brothers.

keep walking. keep seeking.

Hello 2013!

I feel like a little kid again, with a Christmas vacation coming to an end.  While vacations have forever changed now that we have two littles in our family, having the hubby home for a stay-cation this week has taken a load off my shoulders and allowed some rest that my spirit needed.

This past week, the hubs and I found ourselves discussing the coming year and what our hopes and goals and expectations might be.  Much of what we are doing is just continuing the good that we already have in our life.  But as I thought about growing as a follower of Christ, a wife, a Mama, and a writer, I found myself making a list of MORE and LESS.

Such as MORE sleep.

More fitness.

Less TV.

More reading.  More writing.

Less social media.

More homemaking.  More encouraging.

Less stuff.

More praying.  More stillness.

Less comparison.

More productive mornings.  More card writing.

Less shopping and spending.

More date nights.  More planned rest.

Less laziness.


We are just going to keep walking.  Keep reading truth.  Keep seeking Christ.  Keep pursuing oneness in our marriage.  Anything that goes against that will be cut out.

As far as this space goes, I'm going to keep writing.  I've got a sweet group of gals to hold me accountable to my commitment to use this site for His glory.  But much beyond that, 2013 is a mystery to me as far as where this blog will go.

One thing that the hubs and I decided to do to add to our Christ-seeking and marriage-oneness is reading the Bible together.  We decided that a 6 month plan would be best for us, and we're doing the 6-month reading plan from You Version.  (If you have a smart-phone or tablet, this is truly the #1 most important app to have.)

This is kind of a big deal to me.

You see, I've planned to read the Bible from cover to cover many many times.  And fallen off the wagon every. single. time.

This time will be different.

I have determination, and even better, I have accountability.  I just love that my hubby is doing this with me, and I pray that it will deepen our marriage in ways we would never expect.

Also, I am sharing this goal here.  Because I hope you will either
A. join me, or
B. check in on me and ask how it's going.

I am so excited to get a little more radical in my pursuit of the Word.  I know that it will not be time wasted.    

What is your plan in your Bible reading this year?  What are you seeking more of and less of?