WAHM.

I'm a work-at-home-mama.  Prior to actually BEING a mama, this seemed like the most ideal situation.  What could be better than staying home with my little bubba, working when I can, and making some extra money?  Well... let's just say my glorified view of being a WAHM isn't quite what I thought.  It's still work... and it's hard.

I've just been struggling lately fitting work into my day.  My schedule is such that I am in the office for 6-7 hours during the week and I have to log about 8-9 more at home.  I've been getting all of my hours in, but at the cost of feeling overwhelmed and like my day is a haphazard mess.  The hard part is, I really do love my job.  The harder part is, I have a LOT more responsibilities to take care of when I am at home vs. when I am at the office.  And Jude doesn't nap quite as well as he did when he was 6 weeks old.  When he naps I find myself feeling like I need to be working, but also need to do the dishes, the laundry, vacuum, exercise, read my bible, etc... and those naps are getting fewer and further between.  Being a MOM is a full-time job in and of itself.  Anyone who things otherwise has never been a mom.

I'm not trying to complain.  But I'm bound and determined to find a solution.  I hate feeling like I can't be fully present at my job OR at home.  One solution would be to go into the office more.  But that means less money coming in, as I would need a sitter.  Another option would be to just say forget doing anything during the day (except respond to emails, which is easy), and focus on writing grants in the evening after Jude goes to bed and Jordan is home.  I'm leaning towards that option.  I feel like I need a schedule and a set aside time where I KNOW I will have time to work - so that I can push it out of my brain for the rest of the day... but other WAHM mama's... what is your solution?  How do you find balance and keep yourself from getting overwhelmed?    

Hi ho hi ho...

... back to work I go!  This week is my first week back on the job.  I wasn't planning on starting until next week, but looking at the calendar I have WAY to many grant deadlines that are super close, so I needed this extra week so I'm not totally overwhelmed when I go back.  I really think I have the ideal situation in going back to work.  I'll be in the office on Tuesdays and then work at home the rest of the week (about 8-10 hours worth).  Yesterday was Jude's first day with our sitter and I have to say that it went WAY better than I expected.  I was expecting to feel totally emotional and obsessed the entire day about going home.  I was so busy at work, I was just thankful for how much I was able to get done at the office that I won't need to do at home.  And I feel really good about Kim.  She is coming to OUR house to watch him!!  I'm SO glad it worked out for Jude to be in his own environment.

The anticipation of this week starting was way worse than it actually starting. I found myself sad thinking about spending time at home needing to focus on work and not on Jude.  But he took a wonderful 2.5 hour nap this morning which allowed me to get a lot of work out of the way so that I could focus on him an being a wife and mama the rest of the day. :-)  I'm feeling pretty good at this point!

Last week was my 6 week doctors appointment!  I was happy to get the "all clear" to begin life as normal.  And I feel completely normal too - which I thought would almost never happen.  So I started yoga this week... and wow.  I am stiff and TOTALLY not flexible.  But I really want to love yoga... I really want to be good at it.  I'm just not naturally flexible, but I feel like it really challenges me.  So I have kind of decided for this to be my focus for a little while.  I am still going to do the couch to 5K running plan, but I want to do yoga 4-5 times a week as well.  And once I hit the 5K distance {which shouldn't take too long} I just want to run that a couple times a week to keep up cardio.  But I want a different challenge... and I want to love yoga.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone... I keep saying that... but it's true.