day 8 :: where I'm at

One week down in this 31 days of finding freedom challenge!  I feel like I deserve something for blogging for 31 days in a row.  Can I say this is going to be MUCH MUCH harder than I expected?  In an ideal world I'd have my posts ready the day before, cute pictures edited and cropped, and it would be entering the blogosphere at 5am the next morning.

But really, that's just not where I'm at.

Today I have about 10 minutes before I get Jude up from his non-nap (oh, yeah, he's not napping anymore.  Fun, huh?).  Today, a 20 minute power nap myself trumped this blog post.  I guess I thought inspiration would come while I was sleeping.  Unfortunately, not the case.

Still, there is a lesson for me to learn here.  About my expectations.  Knowing myself, what I'm capable of, and what I need.  And adjusting accordingly.

I am a big advocate of the idea of giving up good to make space for what is best.  Sometimes, though, even my idea of best is what I find burdensome.

That means, I need to evaluate.  Just because I like what someone else is doing, and it is their best, that does not mean it has to be my best.  (I tend to fall into this trap.)

While I should give my best in what I do, there is grace.  Grace for the sloppy blog posts.  Grace for the one-or-two tv shows too many.  Grace for the lack of patience.

But nobody wants to live in a place where they constantly feel like they aren't measuring up.  We can embrace grace, but we can also change our expectations.  We can pray for a realistic perspective on what is best and what we are capable of.  And adjust our ideals accordingly.

So, instead of kicking myself for starting this blog series I'm not doing justice to (in my opinion), some new expectations.

Don't expect blog posts the night before.  If I'm lucky, you might get them.  But that probably won't happen this week.

Don't expect eloquent, captivating posts.  Or even clever stories.  Or even a recent photo.

What you can expect?

Truth.  Honesty.  Always.  And a heart that desires deeply to share life with other women, encourage my fellow Mamas, and love the Lord with all that I am.

That's just where I'm at.  And there's freedom here.

day 7 :: pushing through for freedom

After a busy weekend I almost completely spaced my commitment to write this post.  It is late, so I am going to keep this short and sweet.

This morning as once again time for my Beth Moore bible study.  We settled in on the story in Luke of the woman who was bleeding, carrying her burden for 12 years.

She saw her need.  Desperate.  And broke all of the social norms and laws to push through the crowd, reach out and grab hold of Jesus.

And she was healed.

My take-away?

You know the burden you carry.  The insecurity or anger or  depression or anxiety or pain.

Beth's message today, the one I'm passing on to you.

Don't let anything get in the way of you grabbing hold of Jesus to find healing.  To find truth.  Even if your decisions make you seem crazy to the world.  Well, that's more Christ-like, isn't it?

I know I need to take some time to pray about what exactly I need to bring to him.  To uncover more of these strongholds and find the root.  And find healing.

What do you need to push through to be freed today?

day 6 :: in a funk

Sunday's are just flat out rough.  Rushed mornings with breakfast in the car, tears at the nursery drop-off, and postponed naps.

Today was one of those days where I felt like, yep. I HAVE A TWO-YEAR-OLD.

He wants the blue spoon, not the green spoon.  And no, I don't want to sit in the booster, because I'm tall up-to-the-sky like Daddy.  And I don't like it, Mama!  I don't like pasghetti! 

The books say to ignore the tantrums.  And most days, I do.  I walk away and tell him to come find me when he is ready to speak kindly.  But today, we were simply in a funk.

The kind of funk that is there whether you ignore it or not.

The kind of funk that has my blood start to bubble because I can't. handle. the. screaming.

The kind of funk that, really, only one thing can fix.

Music.

I crank up the tunes (lately, this song by Brooke Fraser is my go-to funk-busting song), grab my screaming boy, and start spinning in circles.

The cries quickly turned into side-splitting laughter.  We twirled and bounced around the house and listened to the song three times in a row.  Funk forgotten.

Imperfect children.  Far from perfect motherhood.  And loud music.  I found freedom here.

This is day 6 of "31 days if finding freedom".  Click here for more posts in this series.

day 5 :: life-giving links

Happy weekend, friends!

Today I thought I would share some life-giving blogs and books that I've been reading lately.  Happy reading!

www.cassidyrobinson.com - she is blogging on 31 days of being content.  I love this girl anyway, but these posts are a breath of fresh air.  Finding freedom in choosing contentment over discontentment.  It is indeed a choice.

Desperate: hope for the mom who needs to breathe - the title says it all.  I've found so much encouragement from Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson through this book.  Being in the trenches with two toddlers is sometimes crazy and this book has encouraged me that I am not losing my mind (or at least I'm not the only one who is) and that a slight shift in my perspective can make all of the difference.

What Women Fear - this book by Angie Smith hit home for me.  I listened to it this summer as an audiobook while painting our house, getting ready to sell.  I was "amen"ing the whole way through.  I didn't realize how many things I lived in fear of until reading this.  This book was great in helping me identify areas I could pray through to break through binding strongholds.







http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2013/10/02/tullian-tchividjian/#sthash.3aI5Gpfl.gbpl - this blog post by Tullian Tchivdjian, Billy Graham's grandson, is a breath of fresh air.  This post quite accurately expresses what I have been experiencing all summer.  Needing to lean heavily into grace after living in a do-good, try-hard way for too long.