Results

I got a call from my doctor today and they already have the results of J's analysis yesterday.  Everything looks good!!  She said he is in the "normal" range for fertility.  So this is great news!  We just need to wait for me to get my lab results and then next cycle I'll start the clomid.  Yay!

Blah.

Sickness is never fun... sickness that messes with your temperature when you are trying to get pregnant and your BBT is the only way you can tell if you ovulate is definitely not fun.  But maybe my body is forcing me to take a break...

It is kind of nice to honestly not know if I am ovulating or not right this second... we're still trying every other day, but for the past week I have either had a fever (boo) or have had trouble sleeping, which makes my temps unreliable.  I am okay with that.  I just got a call from my doctor that they want to do some bloodwork to test my thyroid and some other hormone levels.  I guess another step in the right direction.

Also I dropped off the semen analysis this morning (fun fun!!)... so I should hopefully have results on that this week.

In the meantime... I feel like I am swallowing needles and I am going to REST and drink lots of tea. :-)

Step Two

Obviously, when you are trying to conceive, I think it is impossible to ignore all the babies and pregnant women around you.  It seems like it is everywhere... and it is hard to not look at them and feel that deep desire to have a child of your own.  Lately, I see these pregnant women and babies and find myself wondering how they got there.  I think the old joke of "where babies come from" is a lot more real to me... people laugh saying someone got "knocked up"... thinking they got pregnant the traditional way by just doing it and *poof* they are pregnant.  I now know that for a lot of people that isn't the case... and I find myself wondering what their story is.  How did they long for that child and spend months or years waiting to see those two pink little lines confirming their dreams had come true?  And for many people, it isn't "doing the deed" at all that got them there... in many cases, it was rounds of medication, IUI, IVF, etc.  I just wonder what people's stories are.  I am happy to embrace my story... as long or as short as it ends up being, because it is my story and I know that I am not the author... God is.  And I can trust in that.

We have our semen analysis scheduled for Monday.  J is being such a trooper... obviously it is NOT fun for him, but he continually assures me that he is 100% on board to do what we need to do to make this happen.  I am just praying that it will be a simple answer... that J's swimmers will be just fine and one round of clomid to adjust my cycle and my hormones to be able to sustain a pregnancy will be all that we need.  It gets a lot more expensive after that and we aren't prepared at this point to spend $10,000 on IVF.  Of course that is like Step 8 and we are on Step 2... but still.  I am a planner and I just want to prepare myself for this to be a potentially long journey.  Anyway... luckily with this semen analysis this is something that can be done at home :-) and I can take the sample to the fertility clinic.  No shady rooms with shady magazines or anything like that... gosh no.  Thank goodness it isn't like the movies. :-)  J is much more comfortable with it this way.

My doctor told me a story of a family who did the semen analysis (are you sick of hearing me say that?) and found that the husband had literally ZERO count.  There are things (expensive things?) they can do to try to increase it, but it doesn't always work... and it is usually by a very small percentage.  Well, a small percentage of ZERO is still ZERO (I know my math)... and this family chose to just stop right there.  They were going to adopt.  I kind of feel like I would do the same thing.  J and I already agreed that we aren't going to go multiple rounds of treatment and stress... really just one round of IVF (or however many embryo's there are) and call it good.  If no luck - we are adopting.  We feel very compelled and called to adopt anyway.  We think we'd like to have 2 of our own and adopt 2 (of course these are my plans... we'll see what God has in store).

As always... thanks for your prayers!!

Trip to the doctor...

Well today I had my doctors appointment.  I brought my charts with me and got a chance to just talk about my concerns and get feedback.  My doctor was really on the same page as me.  She had concerns with my cycles being as long as they are and also with the fact that I bleed for up to 15 days surrounding my period.  Looking at just my temps, she isn't concerned about my luteal phase, but because of the spotting she said I may have luteal phase defect.  Sooo... she is thinking that my best bet may be to use clomid.  Clomid helps women who ovulate irregularly to have more regular cycles.  It also helps to balance your hormones if there is an imbalance (hence the bleeding).  We are already past the starting point since I have been charting for 6 months... I know that I DO ovulate... but that some cycles it isn't until cycle day 52 (ugh.)... so this should help with that.  My doctor said normally they wait a year before doing any kind of this treatment, but because of my cycle lengths and bleeding, she feels confident this will help me a great deal.

So the next step before clomid is to get a semen analysis.  40% of all infertility is male factor and we need to understand that before I start on any drugs.  If it turns out that J doesn't have good swimmers :-( then they may say it isn't worth doing clomid at all and would jump to IUI or something of that nature... saving us time and $$.  So we'll see.  We're doing the semen analysis within the next 2 weeks and I should have answers 3-5 days after that.  I'm anxious for some answers.

A friend of a friend has been trying for a couple months longer than me and had a miscarriage at about 6 months of trying.  Her doctor found a hormonal imbalance and put her on clomid and she conceived her first cycle... not that this will happen for me, but I am hopeful. 

I don't feel anxious... I feel good about this decision, but the unknown is always scary.  Thanks for the prayers... they are working. :-)

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- wisdom for the doctors and for us... that we would get clear answers from the testing done and feel good about the course of action.
- that J and I would be on the same page... a semen anaylsis and clomid DO cost money... not near what IVF would (it is really only maybe $200 if insurance doesn't cover anything... which I am thinking they will)... but J and I need to be on the same page and for J, money is always a factor and I just pray that God provides as we head down this road.
- PEACE... I have really felt your prayers on this one... no anxiety this month... I feel patient and at ease with this process.

Love you all!